I was busy fooling around on my iPad. Yes I wanted to change my Facebook profile picture, I so I snapped a picture and used the different photo editor apps on the iPad. Some the apps are so cool. Like the photo I have in this post, it looks like a drawing. It is amazing what these apps will do.
As I was playing with my photos, I noticed something, I known for years I look younger then my age. I may have known it, but I never I guess believed it. Prior to me playing with photos, I was on Facebook, just browsing my feed, and I admit, I use Facebook to keep up with people back home in Pittsburgh. I have many people on my friend’s list that I graduated high school with on it, it just a great way to keep up with them.
Recently I posted an old photo of me and my sisters on Facebook. The photo is about 20 years old.
I had someone private message me, from back home, and tell me not only have I gotten prettier with age, but also how it looks like I haven’t aged in years. I was like, oh thanks, didn’t think much of it. Tonight playing with the photos, I realized, I really do look younger then 37 years old. I know the reason I look younger is because in the genes. My father looks younger then 64, I get that from him.
Why am I telling you this, well I will be the first to tell you, I do have low self esteem. I am much better then I was, it took me a long time to be in the place where I love who I am. I still have this low self esteem. It usually gets low when on a date, and he comments about my weight.
I do get told I have a pretty face and amazing eyes and I get flirted with on Facebook. That does help boost the self esteem. However, I went on a date recently and he was charming, and great personality. Then he said to me how beautiful I was, then added that he an honest man and said I was too fat. He liked a more petite lady.
I have lost a lot of weight. I am still bit on the plus side, but got an hour glass figure. I posted on here when I reached my goal weight, because so happy which included this photo of me showing off this slimmer version.
I have lost a bit more weight since that photo was taken. I continue to lose the weight, I want to lose another 30lbs. I already lost 32lbs when I took that photo. When this guy told me this, I wasn’t surprised or angry. In fact I was numb when he told me this. Why was I numb, I heard it so many times before.
Over the years I talk to guys, they love the conversations, really enjoy everything they heard in emails and on the phone. I am everything they like. Then they meet me, I feel, wow just great, we got chemistry from all the calls and emails. Then suddenly at the end the date, I get told the speech . “You are wonderful woman, you got a great face, but you just a bit too heavy.” In fact this guy I was on the date with recently, even said he wanted someone elegant and felt a fat girl like me could not be elegant. That people judge others on outward appearances.
That is what is wrong with people, we focus so much on superficial, instead of what is inside. He liked everything about me, except I was fat. Told me to keep up the good job of losing weight, that the men will be dying to see me.
I lost the weight for myself, I still lose weight for me. I do get a cheaper health insurance if I follow the program at work, so it was an incentive, plus I did it because for the first time in my life, nobody was forcing me to lose the weight. I wanted to lose for Dee. I feel great, I think I look amazing. This guy and probably many others don’t see that. They just see hips and a large ass. They put blinders on to everything else.
I got a wonderful personality, that these guys love to talk to on the phone. I have confidence in myself, I am a great cook, I mean not every woman can say she published a cookbook. (yes i have 3 cookbooks I published) Plus, I look younger then I am. I am a beauty. I know all this, but yet I have low self esteem, because guys can not get past an hour glass figure. What is wrong with this picture? People wonder why women have poor body images if themselves.